Advice For Undecided Voters

Hey, everyone! I have some helpful advice for you undecided voters out there. Yes, I know there's no end of information out there targeting you undecideds, but not many are offering this valuable advice:

If it isn't crystal clear to you by now which candidate should be president, Do Not Fucking Vote. Morons like you are the ones that gave GW Bush a second term. Don't buy into the conventional wisdom that voting is a civic responsibility that all citizens should participate in. If you don't know who to vote for by now, you aren't informed enough to vote. You risk fucking up the entire world with eenie miney moe bullshit. Are you just going to vote for whoever the TV last tells you to, as you're walking out the door to the polls? Seriously, stay home. Don't bother. Or think about this: should you walk out the front door or the back door? It's not such an easy choice as you might think. Maybe you should give it a few months, and THEN go vote.

And while I'm talking about 'conventional wisdom' about voting, let me clear up another fiction: "If you don't vote, you don't get to complain." Bullshit. The First Amendment isn't just for voters. Are people under 18 not allowed to complain? Are you allowed to complain if you voted, but it was for the guy you're complaining about? Does that mean that if you vote for the wrong guy, I can complain about him, and also blame you too?

I hope this helps your difficult decision! Get out there and vote like it's the last election you'll ever get to vote in!